A Watch-dog Organization - Advocating for Bullied Children & Reporting on State Anti Bullying Laws |
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This is (most of) the testimony given to the Arizona House Education Committee on February 24th, 2004 by Brenda High Dear Honorable Members of the House Education Committee, I am here to represent all mothers of bullied kids and I support HB 2533 – "Bullying" is a crime in which the perpetrators are rarely punished and the victims rarely receive justice. This crime is usually repetitive-- a victim is injured and traumatized over and over. ...When "Bullying" claims yet another victim, few notice and few care. Oftentimes, the victims themselves are blamed by being told that they must be doing something to "deserve" it, such as with my son, Jared. Jared was a gentle young 12 year old when he was bullied by a bunch of 14 year olds while he captained their baseball team (another name for Coaches Assistant). One day, in May 1998, the lead bully stalked my son and caught him alone in his middle school gym. The bully being two years older, a half foot taller and 80 pounds heavier, had his way with my son that afternoon, as my son yelled for help. Not only did my son receive no help, but he was kicked out of school the next day for fighting, despite the fact that the bully had dozens of incidents of this type of behavior on his school record. Rather than take the time to properly investigate what happened to Jared, the administrators choose to punish him for being assaulted, thus victimizing him even further. Over the next few months Jared became increasingly depressed. Lack of sleep, buzzing noises in his ears, headaches and lack of concentration plagued him through the summer. After putting him into a new school and school district, we thought things were different and “better” now, but it wasn’t. Depression just doesn’t go away on its own. One day, after refusing to go to school because he was tired, from not having slept that night before and after I had left for work, Jared called his dad at work saying, “Dad, dad, I just called to say good-bye.” Then Bill heard a “pop” noise. He rushed home from work to find Jared on the floor. He had died instantly. When the police asked us why we thought Jared would do something like this, I answered, “Jared has never been the same since a bully beat him up at school.” They asked what the name of the bully was and when I told them, three of the officers said, “Oh, yes, we know him.” Society, in general, has the mindset that it is "all right" or "a rite of passage" for "Bullies" to deliberately and systematically destroy their victims-- our children. But why would anyone ask our children to endure more than we as adults could? How could anyone expect our children to make it through humiliation, torment, isolation, assaults or a brutal beating unscathed? We shouldn't. And they don't. In the adult world these offenses and crimes have names. Society uses different terms for these offenses and crimes when our children are the victims. -- At what age does teasing become harassment, taunting become tormenting, following-stalking, punching-assaulting, or a fight becomes a battery or a beating? Some children will turn to substance abuse and self-medicate in an attempt to escape their pain and suffering. Some will lose all self-confidence and always believe that there must be something wrong with them-- that they did deserve it like everyone said. Other children will learn to accept the physical and/or psychological injuries inflicted upon them-- "just for fun." They will go to the doctors and take their medications and accept the fact that life isn't fair. They won't question "the system" or why they were not allowed to get a public education "just because" someone didn't like the way they dressed, or perhaps the way they looked. Or maybe it was the music they listened to, or the vehicle they drove. Could have been that they were really intelligent or perhaps that they really struggled to learn. Or maybe the "Bullies" used even better excuses like they thought they were a Christian or they thought they were a Satanist, they thought they were gay or they thought they were straight, they thought they were rich or they thought they were poor, ugly, etc., etc., etc. According to Webster's Dictionary, the definition of a bully is: an over-bearing person who tyrannizes the weak; intimidation. The definition of terror is: extreme fear; one who causes terror; to rule by intimidation. When a child is being bullied they know what a terrorist is... they experience it everyday at school… I would like to give you some different stories to consider as you talk about HB 2533. These stories are disturbing. I hope, however, that you will see the life saving difference your work as Legislators can have on so many young lives today. BULLIES KILL & KIDS WHO ARE BULLIED KILL
"I conducted interviews with some of his classmates
in Richland (WA). They told me horrific stories of Dodd being bullied
in school. There are too many to recount here, but a single example
shows how far things went:
"Every former classmate recalled numerous incidents of his suffering at the hands of the larger, stronger, tougher kids. "You know," they told me, "the big, blonde jocks. The guys who would go on to excel in sports." And each person I spoke to expressed regret at having stood by in silence. As one told me, "I cannot help but think if I had said something, anything, maybe he wouldn't have gone down this path."" THE BULLYCIDE OF APRIL HIMES -
April made another choice. An hour after the phone call with Carmichael Middle
School, April hung herself in her bedroom with a belt, leaving a devastated
and grief stricken family behind.
Brandon's Story - As told by his mother Cathy -
The assistant principal later told me that he was convinced that Brandon had not made the bomb threat. Unfortunately, the damage to Brandon could not be undone. Brandon had to live with the stigma of the would-be-bomber. This is just one of the incidents. There were many. On 12/16/00 Brandon put a loaded gun to his head, pulled the trigger and ended his pain. Some of the "Bullies" have said... that they didn't realize what they were doing-- that they were, "just having fun." I can never forget those years that I watched my son die a slow and painful death, and those years that I saw the sparkling light of joy, love, and hope in his big, beautiful, brown eyes-- slowly replaced with the darkness of pain, devastation, and hopelessness. I will never forget the night that Brandon stood by me and told me that he felt "dead inside"-- then the morning, three weeks later, that I stood over his dead body, knowing, that despite all my efforts to save my beloved son, the "Bullies" job had been too well done. Their mission had been accomplished. Suffice to say that through all this, Brandon and all of us who love him were not having fun. Where was justice for Brandon? Where is justice for us? Our light, our hope, our joy has been replaced with darkness, hopelessness, and an unrelenting sorrow. We now feel "dead inside." Note: This testimony was inspired and written with help from the article, "Brandon's Story - Bullies who kill," by Cathy Swartwood, the story of her son, Brandon, http://www.jaredstory.com/brandon.html. These kids aren’t just upset, they are desperate! Enduring bullying is no small thing for the victim of bullying. Every day in class, they don’t think about what the teacher is saying, or what they’re going to do after school. Victims of bullying are sitting in a classroom and, I’ll tell you what they are thinking about – “If I go out the door a minute after the bell rings I can avoid meeting “Bully” in the halls on the way to the next class” or “I wonder if “Bully” will catch me the bathroom and steal my lunch money before I can buy my lunch,” or “I hope they (the bullies) don’t punch me again on the bus, like they did yesterday.” What is a good day for a victim of bullying – one day, maybe even one hour free of it. Sonya F. Schubert Speaks - From Page, Arizona -
"…But don’t we know that we are all legally guaranteed a workplace free of verbal and physical harassment and one free of racial discrimination. "Imagine you went to a meeting and sat in a chair, only to be told by an aggressive co-worker that you were in "her chair," and then she grabbed you and threw you onto the floor. Imagine the betrayal you felt when your supervisor told you "Just stay away from that chair, then, and don’t tattle." "Finally, imagine you were walking down the sidewalk, and two co-workers who didn’t really like you grabbed you, one on each arm, and tried to throw you in the garbage. Imagine the betrayal you felt when your supervisor said, "Well, next time they try it, let me know," while the aggressors proceeded undisciplined about their business, emboldened by the lack of proper response from their superiors. What will they do next? If they are allowed to grab you this time with no consequences, what will they do next time? "Each of these scenarios is a variation of something my daughter has had to endure while attending school. Why does my daughter, or any child, have to put up with this kind of treatment? Are children somehow less human than we adults, and therefore less deserving of protection from harassment and assault? Children will be children, boys will be boys, and girls will be girls... so when will adults be adults?" What kind of world would we have if Bullying stopped in our schools?
Please make a difference for our children. Take action on HB 2533! Thank you for allowing me to speak about this important issue. |
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