A Watch-dog Organization - Advocating for Bullied Children
& Reporting on State Anti Bullying Laws
SUGGESTIONS FOR PARENTS
WHEN DEALING WITH BULLYING
By Brenda High, Founder and Co-Director of Bully Police USA
Note: This is a synopsis of one article in The Bully Police E-book Part II: Advice for Parents/Advice for Kids in dealing with bullying; an extensive 146 page PDF file that answers questions and gives solutions to bullying problems. This E-book is purposely priced at $4.95 so that it can be easily affordable by anyone. See the ordering info below.
I know how parents feel when they realize their child has been bullied at school. In your mind, you want to immediately run down to your child's school, grab some Administrator or Teacher by the throat, and yell at him/her. However, stay calm and think about how your child is feeling. They probably did not want to come to you and tell you about the bullying because they believe that if you say or do something about it, the bullying might get worse. Sometimes they are right in their fears, but if your complaint process is handled right, more often than not, the bullying will stop.
Get the story of the bullying as correct
as possible from your child
Think about how you will approach the school
Remind your school that every day your child is being bullied is like an eternity to him/her and your child wants the bullying to stop.
Enough cannot be said about documentation. Getting the dates, times, locations, and names, not only of the bullying incidents, but also those you talked to at the school.
Make Copies of your journal of bullying - give a copy your parents, witnesses, the school principal, each member of the school board and the school district superintendent. If you feel your story needs to be told publicly, present it at the next school board meeting.
After communicating with an administrator, write a recap of what was said. Fax a copy to the administrator and ask them to correct or change what is incorrect or a misunderstanding.
Online Bullying or Cyberbullying
If your son or daughter is getting threatening email, your local police department may be able to help or lead you to a private investigator with computer skills. If the emails are terrorist type threats, report this immediately to the police, who will then report it to the F.B.I.
Parents sign a service agreement when they
sign up for internet services
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The parents of students who are doing the bullying may be liable for the emotional damages caused by their child to another child. If the cyberbullys’ parents know what is going on (or had received a letter of complaint), they have “knowledge and notice” of harmful activity.
Inform your school administrators about the cyberbullying your child is experiencing. If cyberbullying happens on school time or with school computers, schools come under the “knowledge and notice” rule.
Written Notes – Phone bullies
Save all written notes, even if they are not technically bullying. Do NOT throw them away as they can be used to identify a bullying pattern or possibly identify handwriting.
Some bullying must require immediate and
Serious offenses must be handled by the police and entered on the abuser or perpetrator's police record or Juvenile Record. School Administrators can take some actions against bullies and perpetrator(s) but they are not police officers and they open themselves up to lawsuits when they fail to report this type of violent bullying.
Its time to spill the beans
What to do when the administrators or teachers
will not help
Now the parent has to go on a “mission” to save their child. Here are some things a parent can do to bring awareness to the school.
Try to find out the names of other families within your child's school who are experiencing similar bullying and harassment issues. As a group, you can have even a stronger voice for change and action.
Bullying is an adult problem
Tell administrators that you will discuss your child's problems when they have stopped the bullying.
When to call an attorney
ANTI BULLYING LAWS
In the aftermath – how to help your child
Consider getting your child in to see a Counselor or Therapist. Check with the school district to see if they have any qualified counselors, who have dealt with bullying and the conditions it may cause, like depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorders. Follow up with the school.
See who else in your area has children going through bullying or have children who have dealt with bullying. A positive and proactive approach would be to work with your school district to get a quality anti bullying program into your local schools. This can also be a “healing” activity, to take away the anger that victims of bullying harbor inside. Get creative - Bullying decreases when students, parents and child activists show their numbers, demanding positive changes inside their schools.
Stay united as a family
Its time that every school in America has
a clear direction, by common sense laws, to stop the hurt and pain that
goes on every day in a place where our children should feel safe and secure.
It only takes one voice to make a difference.
This article is the intellectual property of Brenda High, Director, Bully Police USA and may be used for educational purposes without permission. Please credit Brenda High & www.bullypolice.org
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