BullyPolice.org

>>>

A Watch-dog Organization - Advocating for Bullied Children
& Reporting on State Anti Bullying Laws

SUGGESTIONS FOR PARENTS

WHEN DEALING WITH BULLYING

By Brenda High, Director, Bully Police USA

Download: http://www.bullypolice.org/dealing_with_bullying.pdf, for a printable copy.

PART II

Written Notes – Phone bullies

If your child is being bullied through written notes, phone, or in person, document EVERYTHING.
Save all written notes, even if they are not technically bullying. Do NOT throw them away as they can be used to identify a bullying pattern or possibly identify handwriting.

If your child is being bullied in phone conversations, try to get the verbal bullying on your answering machine or on tape. Make it a habit not to answer the telephone right away. Wait for the answering machine to pick up a message. If it is for someone else, the family member can just pick up the phone. Get caller ID and take a picture of the number that the call is coming from. This will document the phone number, date the call came in, and time of day. Taping someone’s conversation without his or her consent cannot be used in court but using a recorded message left on a message machine CAN be used in court. Have your child record in a notebook everything the bully said. Written notes can also be used in court.

You can also call the telephone company and get their advice on handling threatening phone calls. If the phone company feels you have basis (and your written record will help), they can trace and record threatening calls for you.

Some bullying must require immediate and swift action

It is not the job of school administrators or teachers to act as police officers when a serious bullying incident occurs. In cases of a major harassment situation such as a physical or sexual assault, call the police immediately. Age is not an issue, as 6-year-old’s have been known to bring guns to school and/or violently bully. (A 6-year-old boy shot and killed a classmate a few years ago in Florida.)

Serious offenses must be handled by the police and entered on the abuser or perpetrator's police record or Juvenile Record. School Administrators can take some actions against bullies and perpetrator(s) but they are not police officers and they open themselves up to lawsuits when they fail to report this type of violent bullying.

There are assault and battery laws that pertain to juvenile offenders. Do not wait. Tell the police right away and have a report written up.

With the proof you have collected, especially when there has been physical violence, obtain a restraining order.

It’s time to spill the beans

There are countless stories of life-threatening injuries bullied children and teens have suffered without the parent or school even knowing about the bullying. A child may feel that if a parent intervenes the bullying will get worse. They think they can be quiet and endure bullying/abuse for the short run thinking things will change, but doing nothing ensures that nothing will change.

There is a feeling of empowerment, and healing, that comes to people who tell their stories. The same is true for bullied kids. Encourage your child to write their stories and begin to talk about what they are going through. They can tell a parent, counselor, teacher, administrator, a lawmaker, and the news media or even write a book. Help your son or daughter make decisions that will be proactive and work towards a positive solution to their bullying problem.

What to do when the administrators or teachers will not help

Once in awhile, sadly, administrators and/or teachers will not stop the bullying. They may give many excuses but the number one excuse is that they lack time and resources to deal with just one child, that they have too many students to worry about one child being bullying. “Let them figure it out by themselves,” “It’s part of growing up,” or “Boys will be boys” is still the attitude of many uneducated school personnel.

Now the parent has to go on a “mission” to save their child. Here are some things a parent can do to bring awareness to the school.

Write a letter to the Principal of the school. Write a letter to the Principal after each incident of harassment. (Keep a copy in your file)
Write letters to School Board Members. Write letters to Board members separately and after each incident of harassment. (Keep a copy in your file)
Write a letter to the Superintendent. Write a letter to the Superintendent after each incident of harassment. (Keep a copy in your file)
Go to School Board meeting and speak out. It is not just your child that you are thinking about, but also all the other children who are harassed and have parents who will not, or do not know how, to speak for them.
Write multiple letters to your State Representatives (The State Senate and House Education Committee). Tell them what is happening in your school and how your Administrators are handling your child's case.
Write a letter to each member of the Education Committee separately and after each incident of harassment. (See the BullyPolice.org website to see if your laws, policies or codes are listed)
Write a letter to the Editor of your local newspaper. Do not embarrass your child with details, but write instead about your schools lack of response for harassed students in general.
Consider going to the television stations. Bullying can be very dangerous and taxpayers have a RIGHT to know what is going on in their local schools. Voters also have a right to know what their candidates for the school board believe and if they will support and vote for good common sense anti bullying policies.

There is strength in numbers. Try to find out the names of other families within your child's school who are experiencing similar bullying and harassment issues. As a group, you can have even a stronger voice for change and action.

GO TO PART III
BACK TO PART I

Download: http://www.bullypolice.org/dealing_with_bullying.pdf, for a printable copy.

This article is the intellectual property of Brenda High, Director, Bully Police USA and may be used for educational purposes without permission. Please credit Brenda High & www.bullypolice.org